My thoughts on looking back


I have this need to look in the rear view mirror every now and then. Maybe I am looking into it more often today or maybe I’m just looking at it in a different way today than before. The perspective has somehow changed.

When I look back today, I still see this scene; the same one but the only difference now is that I look at it in a different perspective now. And what I see is the cast list is getting longer and longer, the lighting has improved. I hear the dialogues more clearly and the shows have also become longer. When I looked back before I had a different perspective, maybe you can call it a short film perspective. Everything seems to be a lot bigger now; the scene has become bigger and wider. The dialogues have a greater impact.

All that has been said, suddenly has a different meaning for me today now as an adult. Before, it was hard to even hear the dialogues. The scene always felt so far away. But now I feel that I am closer, I hear everything more clearly now and I can see the cast members better.

Everything has a completely different meaning today. The memories are no longer viewed as short films; they have become both longer and more detailed. They have become full length feature films. I find it very interesting and I hope the perspective will continue to evolve, because there’s a purpose to everything. I’m developing and I always learn something new when looking back. I learn something when watching these plays.

I know for a fact that the cast list will continue to grow; I know I will continue to discover even more details. The perspective is to be continued.

The past, with its pleasures, its rewards, its foolishnesses, its punishments, is there for each of us forever, and that is how it should be. (Lillian Hellman 1905-1984)

The photo is from my archive, January 2 2010.


  1. Hmmm, I know what you mean..the past is haunting me somewhat and It can feel as if I am reliving the whole thing again…hmmm, not to pleasant. My advise is : never count wrinkles: the outcome is Always disappointing! xx


    1. The past is haunting me too sometimes. Some memories are good and some are not, but I wouldn’t want to be without them, because there is a reason for everything, I guess.

      Now that’s a great advice, Paula. I will stop counting right away.


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